Map Reduce Geek Paradise
Some very geeky and whimsical and frivolous stuff about Map Reduce, a sexy algorithm that is the new black in the tech world.
Firstly, beyond doubt map reduce has its place, is genuinely excellent when used appropriately and it has been around almost since Ada Lovelace in various guises, it's a useful pattern. But now it has become a buzzword, everyone suddenly has to have map reduce! Architects are compelled to draw designs with "Map Reduce" proudly written on them in bold font.

Hey, I is a real 'tect, I can has map reduce!

Here is a hypothetical conversation in an office betwixt a non-technical project manager and a software proposer and designer called an architect.
Manager -> let's analyse something.
Architect -> you can has map reduce.
Manager->(thinks WTF) (then thinks, I heard someone else say that. Must be good). er, yes, quite. why is this, er map reduce moving us forward?
Architect->Well, you see, you don't need to normalise all your shit and make a database and you can analyse stuff you don't know you've got in ways you don't know how to magically get answers to questions you do not ask, with results you do not want. But because you don't need a database, you can analyse terrabytes of cookies data in a hour with just a few lines of code!
>millions of pounds given to cloud companies later<
Manager, so what's the answer?
Architect, What's the question?
Manager, I don't know.
Architect, I know! Why don't we use Map Reduce to find the question. All we need is....
>millions more pounds spend on clouds later<
etc.